If I were any more excited about Halloween, I’d be pissing candy corn. I’ve been hitting the Halloween stores pretty hard just to breathe it all in, and here’s a random sample of great crap I’ve found so far. More in the days to come….

The birthday party section of The Party Tree (our local Halloween/bachelor party/Cinco De Mayo superstore) is pretty neglected this time of year. Here’s the reason why.

Shown: He’s just letting this happen.

My favorite sign since the “Do not defecate in the restroom” sticker where I used to work.

“Excuse me, sir, did you find that Halloween fright wig right here at Best Buy?”

“It’s not a wig.”

“HOLY SHIT!! GARRGFARGBLEAHRCHHDASFH!$$!@$@$%!!!!”

Polyester Boning is:

A.) A flexible material good for girl’s Halloween costumes

B.) $0.99 a yard

C.) What Miss Piggy hopes for on her Wedding Nite. HI-YOOOO! ZING!