You all know Junkstore Jesse Thompson from his hilarious Maxim.com articles and the famous Berserker beer can scene he introduced me to. Well, we drugged our spouses, threw them in a mini-van and had a rock and roll time in St. Louis this year for Junkstore’s birthday/New Years Eve. Here are the pictures! I know it’s not the same as Sad Trombone Monday (I know I’ve missed two in a row now…things have been too crazy) so please accept this pictorial as a kind of Happy Slide Whistle Monday instead. I don’t know if this tops last year’s “Electro Shocked Face Muscles Party” at Junkstore’s pad, but it was close. Which reminds me…hey! This site’s been up for about a year! What a complete waste of your time! Aren’t you ashamed of yourself?

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There was a secret hipster roller skating rave, and Jesse and I used this opportunity to show Lil’ Bow Wow how Roll Bouncing is actually done.

What’s a New Years Eve party without a quick stop at bad guy Ben Gazzara’s basement from Road House? This is the cousin of the bear that fell on Tinker. Actually, this is from the Cheshire Lodge in St. Louis. You know this hotel from Up In The Air with George Clooney. I know it from the housekeeper asking me if I’d seen “The Bearded Man” that haunts the fourth floor. I wasn’t aware Billy Mays had moved on to poltergeisting so quickly. Classy joint. Very posh. Very haunted by Billy Mays.

“When There’s No More Room Left in Hell, Zombies Will Roller Skate Around the Earth.”

CLICK THROUGH FOR MORE, INCLUDING SECRET CAVES AND SHIT!

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