Well carve a hole in a pumpkin and call me Randy …it’s finally October! I know the blog posts aren’t exactly coming fast and furious these days, I’ve been concentrating on my new, actual-for-real job and settling in, but I promise to get back on a regular schedule soon for the 3 or 4 of you reading. But I absolutely would not miss this annual Halloween Mixtape Post. Everyone who knows me knows this is my favorite thing of the entire year, a tradition started by DJ Daymage in 2009 that I’ve been unsuccessfully trying to top, copy and rip off ever since. This is my first mix using Ableton Live. I use it correctly about 0.000001% of the time, but I was able to do a few special bits here and there on this year’s mix. And, for any of the songs I didn’t already own, I actually purchased…including the Louvin Brother’s “Satan Is Real.” So they should see a 5 cent spike on their royalty check this month.
First things first, if you download all the Halloween mixtapes from DJ Daymage and I—from now until the present—you’ll now have yourself exactly 4 Hours and 18 Minutes of Halloween spookery to listen to all month long.
Some thank you’s are in order: The LAW Group (especially Sean T. Collins for lending no less than 6 rare horror soundtracks, which I used in hopes I’ll be repaid with ongoing Mad Men commentary and discussion at his website) and my Facebook and Twitter super-pals for sending me a ton of great suggestions, too many of which to use. I hope some of yours made it. If they didn’t, it’s nothing personal: probably just in the hopper for next year.
Matt at X-Entertainment for carrying the online Halloween geek-out torch better and brighter than anyone. I’ve been reading his site for, Jesus….so many years now. To this day, no one beats X-Entertainment. Horror and VHS-core sites The Scandy Factory and—the site I got this year’s cover from—VHS Wasteland. They are doing god’s work. Respect. And, last but not least, the greatest site on the internet, Everything is Terrible! who I share my very aesthetic DNA with. Mad props 4 Evah.
So without further ado, World of Ward Crap.com presents… TERROR STAIN: A 2011 HA11OWEEN MIXTAPE! Below, you can read the track listing SPOILERS. I, for one, don’t read track listings before I hear a mixtape because I enjoy the surprises. If you’re like me, check it out after you listen.
Did you catch the Easter Egg on Colbert tonight? It was so quick, pausing the image was nearly impossible. Probably because Comcast’s DVR really, really sucks. But still….some Tyler Durden stuff going on here. Very, very awesome. Very inside baseball. Kudos.
Hey, how’s it going there, ace? Why don’t you go ahead and come in, and close the door behind you. Just have a seat. Go ahead and park that sweet little ass of yours right here next to me. Have you been eating less? Because I don’t mind saying you look REALLY reasonable today in that outfit.
Now, Cindy is telling me you’ve been coming to this website for a while, and you’ve yet to watch our Mandatory Corporate Compliance Video. I’m going to go ahead and insist that you do that now. It’s a short video, and then you can get back to your lunch. Though I would recommend not finishing your lunch, if you want to continue to look the way you do now and, as a result, continue working here. How’s that sound, kiddo? Great, Great…
[NOTE: This post originally ran on Aug. 17, 2009. It's re-printed now because I'm lazy for your enjoyment.]
SO what did you miss this weekend? For one, it was apparently the anniversary of Woodstock. I don’t know about you, but it seems like just yesterday that Trent Reznor was rolling around in that mud and setting squat-o-potties on fire. I only get my news from Yahoo!, and they were all over this story:
Shown: Jimi Hendrix—what HAS he been up to these days? Also, Mona Lisa and Charles Manson: Who Wore It Best?
But for the tens of people who read this blog, you’ll also be interested to know that this weekend, the Illinois State Fair kicked off! And, as usual, there was a lot of incredible, culturally worthwhile stuff to take in.
For only $10, you could have your own Jesus Christ The Supper StarHat. This hat’s message is loud and clear: Can Jesus eat 200 hot dogs? You bet your ass. Is the invention of Brunch a lie sandwich from the pit of whole wheat hell? Yes indeed, brethren. Will God’s only begotten son always use his fork in a “tines-up” orientation, obeying the utensil etiquette painstakingly laid out in the New Testament? Damn right. And that’s because Jesus Christ is a Supper Star.
Here’s another classy piece for your wardrobe…
“Wow,” some of you may say. “This is what I’ll wear to my job interview.” And you’re in luck, because there were a whole series of these tees.
And THEN, as is custom at the state fair, a lifesize butter carving of DJ Qualls, designed to tie in with Road Trip: Beer Pong (available now on DVD and Blu-Ray!)
Now that’s what I call a QUALL-ity butter sculpture! Now that’s also what I QUALL giant balls on that Butter Cow! Or maybe that’s an udder! Or should I say…BUTTER!
AND FINALLY, an annual trip to the HAM, BACON and PROCESSED BEEF SHOW! Well worth the $35 admission. This year, they flew in a shank cut of smoked ham from Wisconsin, and a Brine Cured, Streaky Bellied Fatback Bacon from, you guessed it, Ham Lake, Minnesota (Town motto: “We Exist!”)
Shown: My wife, surprised that we’re not even close to where I said we were going when we got in the car! Zing-o! That’ll teach her to be a trusting wife!
Shown: My two favorite pictures of me standing in solidarity with meat. The first is from the 2009 Ham, Bacon and Processed Beef “Show,” (which is a bunch of meat behind a fucking window an actual “show” in every respect of the word). The second is my Bacon and Meth-addled mugshot from that weekend at the Ham Lake, MN police department, obtained under the Freedom of Information Act.
I’ve discovered some sort of time rift that allows me to travel, unharmed, through un-energized ghosts in Pac-Man Championship Edition. IT’S LIKE TOUCHING THE FINGER OF GOD. When it happened I jumped…I couldn’t believe I saw it. And then I died almost immediately. I kind of feel like I’ve seen the Matrix for the first time. I must have watched this 100 times…I can’t figure it out either.
Shown: If the first thing you notice is this 25th Anniversary Pac-Man/Galaga cabinet, welcome to my world.
As you’re no doubt aware, today is Pac-Man’s birthday. I’m more than a little overwhelmed. With my wedding anniversary tomorrow (I swear I didn’t plan it that way), I’m never sure where my loyalties should lie this time of year. You know around Christmas, when they interview that crazy woman who fills her trailer with a shit ton of Santa Claus stuff? Except she’s had it up all year, and she says something like “Everyday is Christmas at 432 Orchard Alley Lane!” and you feel sick and sad for her? Well, that’s me. But for Pac-Man. My house is a little like wandering into Leatherface’s house, except instead of chicken bones hanging from the ceiling, it’s just Pac-Man stuff. Pac-Man is such a part of the backdrop in my house, that I forget how much I’ve actually accumulated from friends, family, eBay, flea markets and fans. Once you’re a known collector of something, it makes it easy for everyone to buy for you on holidays, which is nice. I’ve already covered some of my most coveted possessions in this NOT SAFE FOR WORK post from Joystick Division, but I took a stroll around my house and just took pictures of stuff I could actually see in front of me. Something I promised to do months ago. If I actually start digging, there’s hundreds more items strewn about…this is only scratching the surface.
So why Pac-Man?
Pac-Man is pure. Pac-Man is Pizza Hut breadsticks and a borrowed quarter from mom. Pac-Man is universal. Pac-Man is challenging and addictive 30 years later. Pac-Man is a warm yellow memory. Ok, scratch that last one. That didn’t sound right.
It’s the ghosts and blood, dust and mud, and the roar of an arcade crowd.
I made this Pac-Man beer cooler for my Pac-Man themed going away party in New York. I used my crappy cell phone video camera to capture this little magic event.
INSERT COIN AND CLICK THROUGH FOR MORE PAC-MAN CRAP THAN YOU CAN HANDLE
Shown: a rare Ms. Pac-Man addition to my collection, stolen from a Indianapolis Head Shop wall. Check out the ticket price, $12! This was before Feed The Animals changed the world.
