Sad Trombone Monday! A Quick Look at Terrible Things

Not sure if you watched Headline News this morning, but they’ve put all the trees in a tree museum, and are charging the people a dollar and a half to see ‘em. I don’t know about you, but in this economy that’s a hell of a bargain! Finally, something cheap to do, you know? And here’s some more depressing things to kick off your week. Hope your Monday sucks! FEH!

Love of House (Not the Hugh Laurie fan-fiction site)

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You know today’s November 16th, right? And you haven’t bought anything for your kids for Christmas yet? Well, better luck next year because “Love Of House” is all that’s left on the shelves. Ironically, “Love of House” was deemed too grammar impaired for even Toys R’ Us to carry. At any rate, have fun explaining to your kids that “Mini Lordliness” is really what they wanted, not a PlayStation 3. This all reminds me of that Bootleg B-52′s song “Love Of House Shack” that this toy set inspired

tama-karaoke copy

Shown: Asian Fred Schneider sings the hits. He added, “The Love of House is a Mini old place where Lordliness am getting together. Love of House, baby, yeah.” [saaaad trom-booonnnneee!]

This stern warning accompanies a thrift store window we used to frequent (we frequented the window, not the store).

all clothes must be on hangers copy

“Ok,” we “will” put “all” our “clothes” on “hangers!” Jesus “Christ” don’t have a “shit fit” about it and “scare off” your “fucking” customers! NO EXCEPTIONS! [sad "trombone"!]


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Did I ever tell you about the time I sprinkled 8 bags of cocaine on a personal pan pizza and ate it in under 10 seconds? Wouldn’t you know, THIS is the first and last thing I remember seeing? A cross between Super Mario and that kid from The Grudge? [pants-pissing trombone!]

git r toasted copy

I pulled over from the highway just to take this picture. I hope you’re happy. If Subway restaurants hadn’t been ruined for you before with their slimy, lukewarm deli meat, disgustingly kemp countertops and prep areas and irritating jingles…consider this your wake up call. I’m a Quiznos man now. [sad trombone!]

 


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Posted by chris on Nov 16th, 2009 and is filed under Bargain Bin Crap, Fast Food crap, Food Crap, Found Crap, Mustache Crap, Toy crap.

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3 Responses to “Sad Trombone Monday! A Quick Look at Terrible Things”

  1. Junkstore says:
    November 16th, 2009 at 9:42 am

    HAHAHA … oh man, that bastardized karaoke version of “Love Shack” is amazing. I’m pretty sure my dad sings it like that anyway.

  2. sharis the bunny says:
    November 16th, 2009 at 12:15 pm

    I love your World Of Ward Crap, Chris. But you DO know that today is the 16th, right? Not the 17th? Either I’ve lost a day, or your blog is future-iffic! :)

  3. Chris Ward says:
    November 16th, 2009 at 1:50 pm

    Thanks Sharis, but you should know this is my blog and I decide what day it is! Also, I declare Monday to be “follow friday” on Twitter, so Nyah!

    Also, hope you’re feeling better :)

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